A Life Conflicted

I am in a void. Nothing feels good. I am powerless of the situations around me and I hate this feeling. I hate hating. My boss is a tyrant and I need to apply to other jobs. My dog is getting older and is having a very difficult time in lifting herself up and it is breaking my heart. Things with my man feel strained because I want him to fix it all, but he can’t. He shouldn’t because I am a big girl who has to take care of herself!!!

I can understand how one becomes an addict because tolerating these feelings is unbearable. But the sad thing is drinking a beer last night didn’t feel good either. If anything it tells me I want something very strong to completing numb my body.

I’ve started the movement class where my mind is learning to let my body act without thought. And I feel miserable. I am in a void. I am tired.