A Life Conflicted

I have joined a new gym for the 4th time in my life.  And I am finding myself not loving the act of exercise….

It takes an exorbitant amount of energy to get my ass to the gym – but yet while I am there, I give my 150%.  Major opposites – Major Conflict.  I don’t know if this is complaining but I do not like the way my body feels that day after a work-out.  I don’t like the fact that my face refuses to release perspiration yet it ramps up to a heated fire engine red.

I do have a goal of loosing 20 lbs by September 1st and I understand that in order to do this I need to work-out a cardio routine everyday.  I’ve yet to do a full 5 day in a row.  The best has been 3 straight days of cardio.

Another issue is that when I loose the 20 lbs – yes I will do it! – do I have to maintain the level of muscle soreness to maintain the weight loss?  I am not happy with this added weight – I love my body – but am not in love with my body especially the way I bulge out of fun clothes.  Fun clothes being my confidence in wearing anything from a t-shirt and jeans to a wonderful Bagdley Mischa dress.

I am feeling discouraged and unmotivated, yet I really want this to happen with no more pain…….Ha ha ha.