A Life Conflicted

Month two of a new year and the list of items to be completed is growing yet I am trying to keep myself out of judgement and out of the outcome and feelings. The difference being is I am trying to increase the muscle of honoring where I am and not who I need or have to be or accomplish. You know, the difference in human doing and human being.
In fact, with the year beginning in pain and aches, I have been forced to take the extra time and slow down but I am in a state of conflict, I can see that each time I teeter-totter towards the self abuse and push, I breath deeply and balance it with a grain of self acceptance. Thus trying to honor where I am today.
I want to accomplish in this year writing a short story or novela worthy of being published and I want to begin volunteering somewhere I can help make a difference and give me a sense of purpose. I also need to honor my current commitments to organize and streamline the office I do inhabit two to three days a week.  The judgement comes in the first two items I want to accomplish this year I have wanted to get to for the last 2 years.   And if I keep looking back and beating myself up for not accomplishing before keeps me in the conflict.  So the strive for balance continues and I hope to use this platform as a way to keep myself in check,with out judgement!!